Decisions, Decisions...

There are lots of ways to measure the best way to choose between one thing and another; the magic eight ball, Eenie Meenie, Miney moe, and flipping for some simple options.   But what if you were able to choose simply because it felt right. I was working with someone who was having a lot of difficulty knowing how to make choices. His old habits were to choose in order to make other people happy. I hear that a lot from people and I did it myself many years ago. Then I’d get overwhelmed because not everyone agreed to what I should do and usually the other person was never happy anyway. Then I’d be stuck and not really like what I was doing. It was a vicious cycle.   If you want to do things to make others happy that’s a lot of people on the planet! Much less, how many people do you know who really truly agree on everything?   Really, trying to figure out what you want based on what you think is good for someone else is a cop-out. Then you’re never responsible for your own thoughts, actions, opinions or the outcomes.  

So, back to the story. We were looking for new ways to choose and realized that he was really good at playing baseball. I had him imagine what it feels like when he’s at the plate or getting ready to throw a ball. He knows what the movement should be to have success, the visioning of where the ball is to go, what to look for before the swing or throw.

Now, before a decision, he sees if he feels the same way in his body about the choice as he does in a baseball game. If he doesn’t feel that calm assurance, he doesn’t swing. He steps back, gets clear about what he is feeling until he finds that same sense of self assurance that he does on a sports field, or “being in the zone”, hat’s what many people who are in their right place at the right time call it...in the zone. It’s a feeling, a connection with what is right for you.

1. Look at a decision you are working on in your life. Make a list of what stopping you from moving forward with this choice? Are they really truths in your life? Do they show you that this decision may not be good for you if you follow one way or another? Have a trusted friend, coach, colleague look at your list and help you see if they are true for you. What would it take for you to let go of what you imagine is stopping you?

2. Notice if your decision is based on another person and what you think would make them happy or what you think they need. Are you using your imagination and thinking you know and are worried about them? Have a reality check in on what is true about your decision and the other person. Do they need to be involved at all?

What do you need? Getting clear on what you need may open up your choice and make your decision easier.

3.  Last and most importantly, use the baseball story to remember something you have done well in the past. It can be any sport, music, speech, joke you told. Remember how it felt to do it and how you felt after the success. Now go out and reproduce the feelings you felt at that moment. Ask yourself how you knew to do whatever it was in the past at the moment it felt was right. Find an example for your life to make your choices from now on. And if you don’t feel it in your body with that same level of comfort and knowingness? DON’T DO IT! Take a step back and rethink your process until you feel that same level of power in your whole body.

Know what feels good to you, what you love and go out and do it. Once you are doing what you love, the choices can come easier because they are all being made around what gives you joy. If you don’t feel joy in what you are doing, you may want to change what you are doing!

I don’t see enough of that. I see a lot of people wait for acknowledgement from outside sources. But they aren’t doing what they love. Even being on the path of training for what you love is pretty cool.

Be your own source of enthusiasm and knowing that you are great at what you do! You can make all the best choices for you and everything will fall into place. Trust that you know what is best for you and follow your heart! Next time we’ll talk about when our choice affects others or we need to negotiate to get what we want.