As parents, too many times we are setting goals for our kids instead of letting them choose what stars to reach for. Sure we have the wisdom of experience and believe they just need a little nudge to get going but often we are the ones who have missed the target.

This kind of over parenting can be traced back to Kindergarten. Were you focused on the academic achievements of your son/daughter instead of letting them just enjoy the social interaction that comes with the first school experience? Am sure we all wondered at one time or another when our little ones came home with a project, “How will this help them in first grade?” The point is we weren’t seeing the forest for the trees. Here are three common parenting mistakes you should try to avoid as your kids head off to Kindergarten (and they may even apply to college)

1.       Focusing on Academic Skills- What do your kids really need to know when walking into the classroom? Not how to add or subtract, or even read,  but instead how to put on their shoes, take turns, and wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Many parents get mad at the schools for being social engineering factories but perhaps if we took a bit more time with our kids helping them be independent we would see more of a concentration on the 3 R’s in the classroom.

2.       Don’t Be a Yes Man- your child needs to hear the word no. Life is hard, get a helmet. Things don’t always turn out perfect and the worst thing you can do for your child is to set up the expectation that everything must go his/her way. By no means crush their spirit but let them know that you don’t always get the book you want of get your favorite tricycle at recess. Instead teach them the beauty of choices. Not open ended questions like “What you want for dinner?”  Because that will probably be a meal that come sin a box with a toy. But instead give them limited choices. “Do you want apple juice or milk, Do you want to wear your red shirt or green shirt today?”

3.       Thinking Learning Only Happens in the Classroom- Kids are naturally curious, you should encourage it. When they ask about clouds give them an age appropriate explanation and start a dialogue. Talk about why it is raining. When walking in the neighborhood count doors or windows, then pick a color and see who can find the next blue door. Go to the Zoo or Museum, where the answers to many questions are right there in front of you. 

Before your child enters Kindergarten they should know their first and last name, most of their address and telephone number, know most of the letters of the alphabet and numbers, perhaps even able to write many capitol letters. But mostly Kindergarten is about social interaction and getting used to being in a school setting with a teacher in charge who will direct their learning adventure.