The holidays are one of the most stressful times of year for couples. So how can you keep from yelling at each other during what is supposed to be a wonderful time of year? Understand that both of you are facing pressure and cut each other some slack. And try to avoid these five popular fights:

1.       Why did you cling/ditch me at the party?

This happens at most holiday parties. If you are taking him to your work party, or a friend’s house, understand that he may not know anyone. Plan a few introductions with co-workers or spouses that share common interests. After that you can mingle while he rants about the football team not having a defense with his new best friend. You can also avoid this argument by setting ground rules, like the two of you spend the first and last 30 minutes at the party together.

2.       Why do you act like a different person around your family?

This is called “revertigo” according to Los Angeles relationship expert Elizabeth Scott, M.S. This is when a person transforms back into who they were when they were young while around parents and siblings. And guys might not even know they are doing it. Bring it to his attention gently, and explains how it makes you feel, while avoiding attacking him with terms like mamma’s boy. Do not expect an overnight transformation, but change will come.

3.       How come we have to celebrate all the holidays with your family?

“This is probably the biggest season-related issue for couples who are in serious relationships," says family lawyer-mediator Laurie Puhn, author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. Her advice: "Together make a policy: Maybe you visit his relatives one year and then yours the next. Or you can figure out which holidays are most important to whom and plan accordingly." If there's an occasion that you both really want to spend with your own family, it's OK to split up every once in a while. "Just explain why you're solo so that no one thinks it's because your partner would rather not be around them. It's easy for misunderstandings to get started this way."

4.       Why am I doing all the shopping?

In many relationships, guys stay in kid mode, and see the holidays as nothing but fun, while the woman gets to shoulder all the responsibility. Elizabeth Scott, M.S. says at first this may seem like fun, because he trusts you to pick out gifts for his family, but after a while you will resent it. Scott suggests making a list for everyone and then dividing the list so each of you has to brave the mall, or make it a fun afternoon together and shop on line, while cuddling in your PJ’s.

5.       Why don’t you get me the gift I wanted?

Guess what, his mind reading abilities don’t just kick in during the holidays. And hinting is not enough. You have to come out directly and tell him what you want, even better if you have a picture, website, and appropriate size. Getting something you picked out if much better and being surprised by something you hate. But what if your guy still didn’t get it and went shopping by himself? Well, take a moment to thank him for going out and trying to find you something he thought you would like. Enjoy the effort, and then return it ASAP.